In the fall of 2014 something terrifying and amazing happened for me and my family. I went back to work after staying home full time for six years. Now, six years can be a blink and a lifetime all at once. As old ladies in the grocery store love to tell young moms with screaming toddlers, “the days are long, but the years are short.” They say it with a sweet smile as your three year old rips open a bag of Pirates Booty with brute force and makes it rain in aisle seven while yelling, “I WANT YELLOW CHEESE!!” in a poltergeist voice. At the time you are like “Whatev lady, you seem to not be taking this situation seriously but you need to SEEK COVER. I REPEAT SEEK COVER.” You are exhausted and just trying to make it until bedtime or nap time or happy hour…. but, later that day when your demon toddler has morphed back into human form and puts their chubby little hand into yours while walking to the park you give her mental props. She is right of course, as old grocery store ladies often are. The days are long and the years are short indeed. It seems like my six year old was born last Tuesday so I see the simple wisdom of that very clearly these days.
So, YES I am forever grateful for the time I spent at home full-time with my kids and understand and cherish its irreplaceable value, but as my favorite yoga teacher likes to say, one thing you can always count on is that all things end. I started to hear that nagging voice in the back of my mind get louder and louder, and found myself feeling more and more restless. I was ready to go back to work. Trust me when I say that once that nagging voice in my mind gets set on something it is very difficult to tune it out. I’m sure my husband and/or his therapist will vouch for me. Besides, I never intended to stay home forever and if if I waited too much longer I was afraid there would be no coming back and I would disappear into professional oblivion. I reminded myself of the blood, sweat, tears and zillions of dollars I spent on my education and took the plunge. Not to mention, I really love teaching. I even had my hair pulled and my dangly earring nearly ripped through my earlobe Friday and I’d still say I had a good day. *true story
I want to show my kids, my daughter especially, that she can grow up and be whatever she wants to be. You know, minus a few things. So shouldn’t I be what I want to be? Some women (and even a few brave men) want to stay home for much longer than I did and hats off to all of you! Do it up. Not for me though. Time for this ship to change course. I feel like in being true to myself I can teach my kids to do the same someday. Teach through example and all of that. I want them to have annoying, nagging voices that lead them to the places in their lives that they are meant to explore. I want them to do things that they are scared of and take chances and to not always take the easy road, as long as none of that results in bodily harm or arrest. (i.e. my teen years….when I was younger the voice had glitches) We’ve matured together however, and it’s much more reasonable these days. The same yoga teacher I mentioned before is also a fan of saying, you are exactly where you need to be right now. That has been true for me for the past six years, and it’s true for me now. So off to work I go.