The Day I Let it Die

I’ve recently discovered a new guilty pleasure, and today I am prepared to confess. Here goes….when my phone dies at the end of the school day, I’ve stopped charging it. Sometimes until the next day. I know, I know, it’s a strange and radical move.… but it just feels so damn good! It’s like discovering a teleport back to the early 90’s and I am sort of hooked. If only I could look over and see Zack, Kelly, and Slater sitting next to me on the couch. Then it would be like reaching some blissed-out state of Hindi nirvana where your self-actualized soul leaves your human form because it’s found true completion. But I digress…
Anyway, so the first time I did it, it was unintentional. It was around 4pm and I glanced at the blessed curse that is my iPhone and found it had died on me. I was literally too physically and mentally spent from my work day to stand up and walk upstairs to get my charger. So I didn’t. And it was peaceful. It was like realizing a marching band had been following you around banging, clanging and booming in your ears all day and someone had done you a solid and hit the mute button. All of a sudden the stress, the noise, the burden was lifted, and I was alone. Peace. 
The next time it wasn’t unintentional. I saw it dying, I knew exactly what was going on and I just let that sucker go down. I was even excited for the shut off. No more dings in the background of an already hectic life. No more email checking, making sure I’ve responded to texts, missed calls, 78 meaningless alerts that seem obligatory, but really are not. No more communicating. I didn’t plug it back in until I went to bed. And it was so calming. The world was so still. I realized how much I am craving simplicity in a life that seems to be demanding things from me every single second of every single day. Some things I can’t just turn off. It’s not like my kids ask for dinner and I can just unplug them and stare at the wall because I need some chill time. But the phone; the phone I can shut off.
Everyone has their daily thing. These days I spend every day with 27 fifth graders. And they are the BEST. They make me laugh, keep me young, fulfill my desire to teach and see someone learn, but I talk to those little homies for 7 hours straight every day. That is a LOT of talking. They have a lot of fantastic questions that need fantastic answers. I do my very best to give them all I’ve got, and when I leave school I feel like I just ran a mental marathon. And then I come home and have snowball fights with my own kids, and do puzzles, and make dinner, and read books, and give baths, and sing lullabies because I still have to give them all I’ve got too…and there are moments where I feel like I might just face-plant in the hallway in a puddle of drool and never regain consciousness. So what’s a girl to do?

The age of the iPhone is a baffling one. We are bombarded with constant communication and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes it all feels like too much for me and I desperately miss the days that came before it. The simpler days that my own kids will never be able to comprehend. Try telling your kid about how when you were little your family shared one phone and it was plugged into the wall. And there were no games on it. Watch them look at you with silent, mind boggled pity. I almost can’t spend too much time thinking about it or my brain feels like it’s going to combust. Like when I try to understand outer space or the internet. So I just let it die sometimes. When I don’t answer you these days don’t be offended. Just know that I am delighting in my one woman crusade against the times we live in. However pointless it may be, it still feels good.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *